This video (thanks Jason!) is one of only two known video recordings of KLUDGE... recorded at the 30th Anniversary of Ethernet bash at the Vortex Conference (May or June 1998, Ritz-Carlton at Laguna Niguel). Will try to dig up the lyrics but if you knows you some Ethernet history you should be able to pick it up...
Without further ado: "We Didn't Start Bits Flowin'"
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Ellison -- Kludge Live in Atlanta, 1997
When it comes to parody tunes, probably no single one generated more listener feedback than this one, titled "Ellison" and set to the Elvis Costello tune "Allison." Even though the Network Computer, or "NC" referred to in the song became a bomb, it was still a good way to tee up Larry E since the tune worked so well as a parody. (In fact we even kept two original lines, just because they fit so well... "sometimes I wish that I could stop you from talking, etc.)
Artistically, "Ellison" was a stretch for Kludge since we usually relied on high-energy rock and roll to cover our rough edges. But thanks to the masterful styling (and hours of vocals coaching) from our musical director Ralph Azzara, "Ellison" comes off pretty good, even 10 years removed and hacked from cassette-to-PC via the invaluable shareware tool Audible.
Anyway, enjoy. Working on some more downloads from the unearthed tape of our 1997 Atlanta Fall Networld+Interop gig, and also have in pocket Vegas N+I 1997, which includes an extremely esoteric "dance" set and some entertaining on-stage dialogue. If anyone out there knows how to cool down a "hot" cassette recording into Audible, leave tips or contact info in the comments.
(lyrics after the player)
Ellison (Alison)
Oh it's so funny to be seein' you after so long dude
After what you did with set-top boxes left me unimpressed
But I see you got that little NC now
A PC that's undressed
I'm not gonna sign new purchase orders
For some hardware that you can't define
'cuz I don't know if this will make you any money
I only know you won't get mine
(chorus)
Ellison, I know Bill Gates is killing you
Ohhh Ellison -- at least you're cool
Well I see you won a yacht race now
I guess a sailboat's always cheaper than to buy a wedding cake
Made so much money selling big databases,
Are you spending more than you can make?
Sometimes I wish that I could stop you from talking
When I hear the silly things that you say
I think you just better stop fighting Microsoft
'cuz man, Windows is here to stay
(chorus)
Ellison, I know Bill Gates is killing you
Ohhh Ellison -- at least you're cool
Your boat is cool
Your beard is cool
Your house is cool
And you're no fool
NCs will rule
NCs will rule
NCs will rule
Artistically, "Ellison" was a stretch for Kludge since we usually relied on high-energy rock and roll to cover our rough edges. But thanks to the masterful styling (and hours of vocals coaching) from our musical director Ralph Azzara, "Ellison" comes off pretty good, even 10 years removed and hacked from cassette-to-PC via the invaluable shareware tool Audible.
Anyway, enjoy. Working on some more downloads from the unearthed tape of our 1997 Atlanta Fall Networld+Interop gig, and also have in pocket Vegas N+I 1997, which includes an extremely esoteric "dance" set and some entertaining on-stage dialogue. If anyone out there knows how to cool down a "hot" cassette recording into Audible, leave tips or contact info in the comments.
(lyrics after the player)
|
Ellison (Alison)
Oh it's so funny to be seein' you after so long dude
After what you did with set-top boxes left me unimpressed
But I see you got that little NC now
A PC that's undressed
I'm not gonna sign new purchase orders
For some hardware that you can't define
'cuz I don't know if this will make you any money
I only know you won't get mine
(chorus)
Ellison, I know Bill Gates is killing you
Ohhh Ellison -- at least you're cool
Well I see you won a yacht race now
I guess a sailboat's always cheaper than to buy a wedding cake
Made so much money selling big databases,
Are you spending more than you can make?
Sometimes I wish that I could stop you from talking
When I hear the silly things that you say
I think you just better stop fighting Microsoft
'cuz man, Windows is here to stay
(chorus)
Ellison, I know Bill Gates is killing you
Ohhh Ellison -- at least you're cool
Your boat is cool
Your beard is cool
Your house is cool
And you're no fool
NCs will rule
NCs will rule
NCs will rule
Friday, September 28, 2007
Kludge Dallas: Backstage Pass
Thanks to David "Dragon" Fiedler for checking in with some nostalgia... a photo of the cool backstage pass for the 1995 event.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Kludge: Live in Dallas, March 1995
Thanks to the hard work of Kludge original drummer Dan Richman (who arranged to have our inaugural gig recorded in bootleg fashion from the audience), here is Kludge's live Debut -- at the Uniforum "Battle of the Bands," Dallas TX, March 14, 1995... Enjoy!
SET LIST:
Internet Baby
No Matter What (CERT)
Testify
Lotus
What I Like About U
Tune 1, "Internet Baby" -- A parody of the Beatles' "Twist and Shout." (If you never saw Kludge live, the parodies and the lyrics were more than half the fun, and we always had a wonderful assortment of people who helped us project the lyrics onto screens near the stage -- so no matter how bad my singing was, everyone in the audience could still get the jokes.) Lyrics below the MP3 player from the fine folks at eSnips.
LYRICS:
Internet baby now (Internet baby)
With no doubt (with no doubt)
Link up link up link up link up baby now (link it up baby)
Web it on out (web it on out)
Web it on out (web it on out)
You know the Net's so good (net so good)
You know you're interactive now (interactive)
just like you knew that you would (knew you would, OOOH)
Internet Baby now (Internet baby)
With no doubt (with no doubt)
H-T-T-P me baby now (H-T-T-P)
H-T-M-L it on out (H-T-M-L)
You know the net links the world (net links the world)
You know the links are fine (links are fine)
Come on and link a little faster now (link a little faster)
And join the virtual mind (virtual mind, OOOH)
(repeat verse 1 and 4 and out)
SET LIST:
Internet Baby
No Matter What (CERT)
Testify
Lotus
What I Like About U
Tune 1, "Internet Baby" -- A parody of the Beatles' "Twist and Shout." (If you never saw Kludge live, the parodies and the lyrics were more than half the fun, and we always had a wonderful assortment of people who helped us project the lyrics onto screens near the stage -- so no matter how bad my singing was, everyone in the audience could still get the jokes.) Lyrics below the MP3 player from the fine folks at eSnips.
|
LYRICS:
Internet baby now (Internet baby)
With no doubt (with no doubt)
Link up link up link up link up baby now (link it up baby)
Web it on out (web it on out)
Web it on out (web it on out)
You know the Net's so good (net so good)
You know you're interactive now (interactive)
just like you knew that you would (knew you would, OOOH)
Internet Baby now (Internet baby)
With no doubt (with no doubt)
H-T-T-P me baby now (H-T-T-P)
H-T-M-L it on out (H-T-M-L)
You know the net links the world (net links the world)
You know the links are fine (links are fine)
Come on and link a little faster now (link a little faster)
And join the virtual mind (virtual mind, OOOH)
(repeat verse 1 and 4 and out)
Kludge: Live in Dallas, Cont.'d
Tune 2, "No Matter What (CERT)" is easily the most obscure of the set list -- I think we really just liked the Badfinger tune and wanted to include it because it's so fun to play and sing. Great harmonies from Dan Richman on the high parts. Jason Levitt cranks out the sax solo. CERT stands for the Computer Emergency Response Team, who was in the news due to Internet Worms, hacking, etc. Again, parody lyrics below the clip.
No Matter What (CERT)
No matter where you are
I will always break on through
Doesn't matter what you do CERT
Ooooh CERT, you're through
No matter what you do
I will always be around
I will post what I have found, CERT
Ooooh CERT, screw you
Knock down the firewall
It won't help you at all
Know what you say, know what you see, know what you do
With just one toll-free call
I will hack the night through
know what you say, know what you see, know what you do
No matter where you store
there will always be a place
for your files to erase, CERT
Oooh CERT, you're through
(guitar/sax break)
Knock down the firewall
It won't help you at all
Know what you say, know what you see, know what you do
With just one toll-free call
I will hack the night through
know what you say, know what you see, know what you do
No matter where you are
I will always break on through
Doesn't matter what you do CERT
Ooooh CERT, you're through
Ooooh CERT, Oooh CERT, you're through
Ooooh CERT, Oooh CERT, screw you
|
No Matter What (CERT)
No matter where you are
I will always break on through
Doesn't matter what you do CERT
Ooooh CERT, you're through
No matter what you do
I will always be around
I will post what I have found, CERT
Ooooh CERT, screw you
Knock down the firewall
It won't help you at all
Know what you say, know what you see, know what you do
With just one toll-free call
I will hack the night through
know what you say, know what you see, know what you do
No matter where you store
there will always be a place
for your files to erase, CERT
Oooh CERT, you're through
(guitar/sax break)
Knock down the firewall
It won't help you at all
Know what you say, know what you see, know what you do
With just one toll-free call
I will hack the night through
know what you say, know what you see, know what you do
No matter where you are
I will always break on through
Doesn't matter what you do CERT
Ooooh CERT, you're through
Ooooh CERT, Oooh CERT, you're through
Ooooh CERT, Oooh CERT, screw you
Kludge: Live in Dallas, part 3
Tune 3, "Testify (Surrender)" -- Eventually this Cheap Trick gem would become one of our parody mainstays (with lyrics reworked as topics required) but it was hard to beat the original twist on the ongoing Microsoft vs. Justice Dept. lawsuit. Parody lyrics, BTW, were almost always a collaborative effort -- someone would come up with a germ of an idea, take an initial cut, then there would be a group edit via email and again at rehearsals. This process was led mainly by Mike Azzara, Mitch Irsfeld and myself, though everybody ever associated with Kludge (hey we were all smart people) usually contributed in some way. What I like about this recording is that you hear the audience laughing at the jokes...
TESTIFY (SURRENDER)
Bill Gates told me, yes he told me
I'd write code for him
But Justice told me stay away,
you never know who we'll catch
Just the other day I heard
that a sweet deal had been cut
But now it looks
Like it might not go down
CHORUS
Billy's allright, Ballmer's allright
They just need some healthy fear
Testify, testify
but don't give your code away -- ayyaaayyy
Microsoft does run the country,
that's our big concern
But no one told Judge Stanley Sporkin
I guess that he's gonna learn
Now I have heard the Attorney General's
filing for appeal
Novell and Lotus don't want that
they've fought them all these years
(Chorus)
Whatever happened to all those software
startups from last year
Microsoft just buys their market
then they disappear
But I don't want my royalties
hanging on his wall!
So now I hope my testimony
gets Billy Boy knocked out!
(chorus repeat and out)
More from Dallas tomorrow... including LOTUS...
|
TESTIFY (SURRENDER)
Bill Gates told me, yes he told me
I'd write code for him
But Justice told me stay away,
you never know who we'll catch
Just the other day I heard
that a sweet deal had been cut
But now it looks
Like it might not go down
CHORUS
Billy's allright, Ballmer's allright
They just need some healthy fear
Testify, testify
but don't give your code away -- ayyaaayyy
Microsoft does run the country,
that's our big concern
But no one told Judge Stanley Sporkin
I guess that he's gonna learn
Now I have heard the Attorney General's
filing for appeal
Novell and Lotus don't want that
they've fought them all these years
(Chorus)
Whatever happened to all those software
startups from last year
Microsoft just buys their market
then they disappear
But I don't want my royalties
hanging on his wall!
So now I hope my testimony
gets Billy Boy knocked out!
(chorus repeat and out)
More from Dallas tomorrow... including LOTUS...
Kludge: Live in Dallas, part 4
Tune 4, "LOTUS (Lola)" -- Was clearly the showstopper for Kludge that fateful night in Dallas, as it may have been the best-ever combination of musicality with parody lyrics that fit like the proverbial glove. (By the second chorus you can already hear audience members singing "lo-lo-lo-lo...LO-TUS...") What I like most about this parody (which originated mainly in the brain of Mike Azzara) is that this initial version was about AT&T's purported attempts to buy Lotus... when just a few months later IBM would pull the trigger on the deal, prompting us to rewrite some of the lyrics while keeping others as clear winners. This song has a parody lyric that remained my favorite throughout Kludge's history: "Mail will be Notes and Notes will be Mail..."
Lyrics below the MP3 player. Will post the IBM lyrics later.
LOTUS (Lola)
I met him in a lab down in Murray Hill
Where they code all night and it runs just like Dennis showed us
S-H-O-W-E-D U-S showed us
He walked up to me and he asked me to sell
I asked him "sell what?" and in a background voice, he said Lotus
L-O-T-U-S Lotus lo lo lo lo Lotus
Well I'm not the world's most financial guy
But when I showed him the books it nearly blew his mind
Oh my Lotus; lo lo lo lo Lotus
Well I'm not dumb but I just can't explain
Why Notes sells so hot but Lotus shows no net gain
Oh my Lotus; lo lo lo lo Lotus; lo lo lo lo Lotus
Well we drank champagne and talked all night
Lawyers were called to make it right.
He wrote a check and then he said with glee,
"Hey desktop boy won't you network with me"
Well I'm not the world's most greed-driven guy
But when I looked in his eyes well I almost sold off my Lotus
lo lo lo lo Lotus; lo lo lo lo Lotus
Lotus, lo lo lo lo Lotus; lo lo lo lo Lotus
I pushed him away
I walked to the door
He promised me more
He got down on his knees
I looked at him and he at me
That's the way that I want it to stay
and I always want to run it my way
Oh my Lotus... My My My My Lotus
Mail will be Notes and Notes will be Mail
This here mixed up muddled up plan can't fail
Or so will Lotus, lo lo lo lo Lotus
Well SoftSwitch joined just a year before
and I never sold such servers before
Bob Allen smiled and took me by the hand
said, "desktop boy gonna build you a WAN!"
Well Notes ain't the world's most hot-selling app
But I know what I am I'm independent and so is Lotus
lo lo lo lo Lotus; lo lo lo lo Lotus
Lotus, lo lo lo lo Lotus; lo lo lo lo Lotus
Lotus, lo lo lo lo Lotus; lo lo lo lo Lotus
Lyrics below the MP3 player. Will post the IBM lyrics later.
|
LOTUS (Lola)
I met him in a lab down in Murray Hill
Where they code all night and it runs just like Dennis showed us
S-H-O-W-E-D U-S showed us
He walked up to me and he asked me to sell
I asked him "sell what?" and in a background voice, he said Lotus
L-O-T-U-S Lotus lo lo lo lo Lotus
Well I'm not the world's most financial guy
But when I showed him the books it nearly blew his mind
Oh my Lotus; lo lo lo lo Lotus
Well I'm not dumb but I just can't explain
Why Notes sells so hot but Lotus shows no net gain
Oh my Lotus; lo lo lo lo Lotus; lo lo lo lo Lotus
Well we drank champagne and talked all night
Lawyers were called to make it right.
He wrote a check and then he said with glee,
"Hey desktop boy won't you network with me"
Well I'm not the world's most greed-driven guy
But when I looked in his eyes well I almost sold off my Lotus
lo lo lo lo Lotus; lo lo lo lo Lotus
Lotus, lo lo lo lo Lotus; lo lo lo lo Lotus
I pushed him away
I walked to the door
He promised me more
He got down on his knees
I looked at him and he at me
That's the way that I want it to stay
and I always want to run it my way
Oh my Lotus... My My My My Lotus
Mail will be Notes and Notes will be Mail
This here mixed up muddled up plan can't fail
Or so will Lotus, lo lo lo lo Lotus
Well SoftSwitch joined just a year before
and I never sold such servers before
Bob Allen smiled and took me by the hand
said, "desktop boy gonna build you a WAN!"
Well Notes ain't the world's most hot-selling app
But I know what I am I'm independent and so is Lotus
lo lo lo lo Lotus; lo lo lo lo Lotus
Lotus, lo lo lo lo Lotus; lo lo lo lo Lotus
Lotus, lo lo lo lo Lotus; lo lo lo lo Lotus
Kludge: Live in Dallas, part 5
Tune 5, "What I Like About U(nix)" -- Don't have the lyrics sheet to this one but it is pretty clear on the recording. The dance-band standard by the Romantics would be a Kludge staple -- remember using it more than once to open a show (because we did this fun thing with the opening clapping). Here it's sort of an up-tempo encore to Lotus, which had just quite literally brought the house down.
This recording also nicely exposes the incredible talent of our musical director and lead guitarist, Ralph Azzara. Though this song may sound like an easy one to play, Ralph's incredible ear and dedication to playing the songs EXACTLY as they were recorded makes it hard to believe that this is being performed by a group of tech publishing editors, in their first time on stage together.
Great little bits from this live track: Ralf giving props to Jason's solo (I was so drained from Lotus I basically did this one on fumes... which you can tell when I completely just miss an entire line or two of the third verse). Somewhere in there you can also hear Mike Azzara (think Mike held the recorder if I remember) tell someone he has to get backstage... to slap some high-fives with KLUDGE...
And, in case you want to listen to the whole performance straight through here is a larger clip with all tunes together. Again, thanks to Danimal Richman for the audio work. Hope to get some direct-from-Dan blog posts up here soon.
(FYI, other Kludge members, fans and Friends of Kludge... let me know if you want to post your own thoughts, can send them to me via email or I can give you author permission to this blog. Let's have more stories!)
This recording also nicely exposes the incredible talent of our musical director and lead guitarist, Ralph Azzara. Though this song may sound like an easy one to play, Ralph's incredible ear and dedication to playing the songs EXACTLY as they were recorded makes it hard to believe that this is being performed by a group of tech publishing editors, in their first time on stage together.
Great little bits from this live track: Ralf giving props to Jason's solo (I was so drained from Lotus I basically did this one on fumes... which you can tell when I completely just miss an entire line or two of the third verse). Somewhere in there you can also hear Mike Azzara (think Mike held the recorder if I remember) tell someone he has to get backstage... to slap some high-fives with KLUDGE...
|
And, in case you want to listen to the whole performance straight through here is a larger clip with all tunes together. Again, thanks to Danimal Richman for the audio work. Hope to get some direct-from-Dan blog posts up here soon.
|
(FYI, other Kludge members, fans and Friends of Kludge... let me know if you want to post your own thoughts, can send them to me via email or I can give you author permission to this blog. Let's have more stories!)
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Kludge Debut: 1995, NOT 1994
Wow, some historian -- I can't even get the starting date for Kludge right. According to original skinman Dan "Danimal" Richman, Kludge's public debut was March 15, 1995, in Dallas. Makes sense since I have been going crazy trying to fill dates on a performance timeline I am creating.
If the greater community would like to assist, please do so -- send along any links or historic info you remember from seeing (or playing in) Kludge... waiting for Laurel Nelson-Rowe to send along one of the "beach flipper" invites from our first gig at the Beach Club in Vegas (where Kludge really went big-time) but if someone else has a digital foto then let us know... leave an email in the comments where we can contact ye.
Also looking for the "Kludge" t-shirt art in digital form, no better way to spruce up this page... let's get this party started...
If the greater community would like to assist, please do so -- send along any links or historic info you remember from seeing (or playing in) Kludge... waiting for Laurel Nelson-Rowe to send along one of the "beach flipper" invites from our first gig at the Beach Club in Vegas (where Kludge really went big-time) but if someone else has a digital foto then let us know... leave an email in the comments where we can contact ye.
Also looking for the "Kludge" t-shirt art in digital form, no better way to spruce up this page... let's get this party started...
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Kludge Dramatis Personae
It is certainly late at night, no better time to engage the faulty memory banks and try to recreate the entire roster of KLUDGE, the world's greatest tech rock and roll band.
From memory, the original Kludge (aka the New Originals)
Lead Guitar -- Ralph Azzara
Lead Vocals - Paul Kapustka
Rhythm Guitar -- Mitch Irsfeld
Rhythm Guitar -- David Fiedler
Bass -- Joel Dreyfuss
Drums -- Dan Richman
Sax -- Jason Levitt
Lyrics, Producer -- Mike Azzara
Since this is the web and as such all posts are inherently correctable (and god knows we can all use editors) please feel free to correct me in the comments. But as best I can remember, this is the crew that rocked the house at Uniforum early 1994 in Dallas... on an incredibly professional stage (according to the crew it was the same stage setup that John Mellancamp used) put up for a Uniforum "Battle of the Bands." There was no official scoring but due to our nascent but tight rocking skilz and a good set of parody tunes (the killer being "Lotus," sung to "Lola," which brought the heavily Netware-savvy crowd to its feet) Kludge was a winner out of the box.
Anyone else remember the full set list? Here is my guess (they were all parody tunes):
Surrender (parody about Microsoft)
No Matter What (parody about CERT, how geeky can you get)
Twist and Shout (Internet Baby)
Lola (Lotus)
thought there were five tunes, but I may be wrong. Anyway. The after party was hilarious -- I still have the receipt somewhere from the bar tab atop the Reunion Tower Hyatt, one of my bigger CMP expenses ever (in the $400-$500 range, no idea why I picked it up with Irser and Azzara around) and then of course the then-new instant-tradition of post-concert deconstructions in Ralf's hotel room.
More Kludge rosters later.
From memory, the original Kludge (aka the New Originals)
Lead Guitar -- Ralph Azzara
Lead Vocals - Paul Kapustka
Rhythm Guitar -- Mitch Irsfeld
Rhythm Guitar -- David Fiedler
Bass -- Joel Dreyfuss
Drums -- Dan Richman
Sax -- Jason Levitt
Lyrics, Producer -- Mike Azzara
Since this is the web and as such all posts are inherently correctable (and god knows we can all use editors) please feel free to correct me in the comments. But as best I can remember, this is the crew that rocked the house at Uniforum early 1994 in Dallas... on an incredibly professional stage (according to the crew it was the same stage setup that John Mellancamp used) put up for a Uniforum "Battle of the Bands." There was no official scoring but due to our nascent but tight rocking skilz and a good set of parody tunes (the killer being "Lotus," sung to "Lola," which brought the heavily Netware-savvy crowd to its feet) Kludge was a winner out of the box.
Anyone else remember the full set list? Here is my guess (they were all parody tunes):
Surrender (parody about Microsoft)
No Matter What (parody about CERT, how geeky can you get)
Twist and Shout (Internet Baby)
Lola (Lotus)
thought there were five tunes, but I may be wrong. Anyway. The after party was hilarious -- I still have the receipt somewhere from the bar tab atop the Reunion Tower Hyatt, one of my bigger CMP expenses ever (in the $400-$500 range, no idea why I picked it up with Irser and Azzara around) and then of course the then-new instant-tradition of post-concert deconstructions in Ralf's hotel room.
More Kludge rosters later.
KLUDGE 2.0, let the blogging begin
OK, OK... clearly the time has come to resurrect the body of work known as KLUDGE.
Welcome all AfterCMP denizens. Right now I am looking at an old set list -- the sheets we used to tape up on the stage to let us know what song was next -- and it reads:
GOOD
SHINE
LUMP
BASKET CASE
SICK OF MYSELF
USSR
T + S
SLOOPY
GOOD LOVIN'
ALMOST
MOVE OVER
WHAT I LIKE
DANCIN'
GOOD WORK
think this is an Atlanta N+I list... can't remember what "T + S" is but all the rest are Kludge wheelhouse tunes. If Eric Beiner is in the house he can probably confirm this is early in his Kludge career as we collaborated on Sick of Myself (Matthew Sweet tune) lead vocals. This is most likely a dance set (though USSR was used as a parody tune, it was also just a good rocker).
More TK.
Welcome all AfterCMP denizens. Right now I am looking at an old set list -- the sheets we used to tape up on the stage to let us know what song was next -- and it reads:
GOOD
SHINE
LUMP
BASKET CASE
SICK OF MYSELF
USSR
T + S
SLOOPY
GOOD LOVIN'
ALMOST
MOVE OVER
WHAT I LIKE
DANCIN'
GOOD WORK
think this is an Atlanta N+I list... can't remember what "T + S" is but all the rest are Kludge wheelhouse tunes. If Eric Beiner is in the house he can probably confirm this is early in his Kludge career as we collaborated on Sick of Myself (Matthew Sweet tune) lead vocals. This is most likely a dance set (though USSR was used as a parody tune, it was also just a good rocker).
More TK.
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