Ellison -- Kludge Live in Atlanta, 1997

When it comes to parody tunes, probably no single one generated more listener feedback than this one, titled "Ellison" and set to the Elvis Costello tune "Allison." Even though the Network Computer, or "NC" referred to in the song became a bomb, it was still a good way to tee up Larry E since the tune worked so well as a parody. (In fact we even kept two original lines, just because they fit so well... "sometimes I wish that I could stop you from talking, etc.)

Artistically, "Ellison" was a stretch for Kludge since we usually relied on high-energy rock and roll to cover our rough edges. But thanks to the masterful styling (and hours of vocals coaching) from our musical director Ralph Azzara, "Ellison" comes off pretty good, even 10 years removed and hacked from cassette-to-PC via the invaluable shareware tool Audible.

Anyway, enjoy. Working on some more downloads from the unearthed tape of our 1997 Atlanta Fall Networld+Interop gig, and also have in pocket Vegas N+I 1997, which includes an extremely esoteric "dance" set and some entertaining on-stage dialogue. If anyone out there knows how to cool down a "hot" cassette recording into Audible, leave tips or contact info in the comments.

(lyrics after the player)

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Ellison (Alison)

Oh it's so funny to be seein' you after so long dude
After what you did with set-top boxes left me unimpressed
But I see you got that little NC now
A PC that's undressed

I'm not gonna sign new purchase orders
For some hardware that you can't define
'cuz I don't know if this will make you any money
I only know you won't get mine

(chorus)
Ellison, I know Bill Gates is killing you
Ohhh Ellison -- at least you're cool

Well I see you won a yacht race now
I guess a sailboat's always cheaper than to buy a wedding cake
Made so much money selling big databases,
Are you spending more than you can make?

Sometimes I wish that I could stop you from talking
When I hear the silly things that you say
I think you just better stop fighting Microsoft
'cuz man, Windows is here to stay

(chorus)
Ellison, I know Bill Gates is killing you
Ohhh Ellison -- at least you're cool

Your boat is cool
Your beard is cool
Your house is cool
And you're no fool
NCs will rule
NCs will rule
NCs will rule

Kludge: Live in Dallas, March 1995

Thanks to the hard work of Kludge original drummer Dan Richman (who arranged to have our inaugural gig recorded in bootleg fashion from the audience), here is Kludge's live Debut -- at the Uniforum "Battle of the Bands," Dallas TX, March 14, 1995... Enjoy!

SET LIST:
Internet Baby
No Matter What (CERT)
Testify
Lotus
What I Like About U

Tune 1, "Internet Baby" -- A parody of the Beatles' "Twist and Shout." (If you never saw Kludge live, the parodies and the lyrics were more than half the fun, and we always had a wonderful assortment of people who helped us project the lyrics onto screens near the stage -- so no matter how bad my singing was, everyone in the audience could still get the jokes.) Lyrics below the MP3 player from the fine folks at eSnips.

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LYRICS:
Internet baby now (Internet baby)
With no doubt (with no doubt)
Link up link up link up link up baby now (link it up baby)
Web it on out (web it on out)

Web it on out (web it on out)
You know the Net's so good (net so good)
You know you're interactive now (interactive)
just like you knew that you would (knew you would, OOOH)

Internet Baby now (Internet baby)
With no doubt (with no doubt)
H-T-T-P me baby now (H-T-T-P)
H-T-M-L it on out (H-T-M-L)

You know the net links the world (net links the world)
You know the links are fine (links are fine)
Come on and link a little faster now (link a little faster)
And join the virtual mind (virtual mind, OOOH)

(repeat verse 1 and 4 and out)

Kludge: Live in Dallas, Cont.'d

Tune 2, "No Matter What (CERT)" is easily the most obscure of the set list -- I think we really just liked the Badfinger tune and wanted to include it because it's so fun to play and sing. Great harmonies from Dan Richman on the high parts. Jason Levitt cranks out the sax solo. CERT stands for the Computer Emergency Response Team, who was in the news due to Internet Worms, hacking, etc. Again, parody lyrics below the clip.

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No Matter What (CERT)
No matter where you are
I will always break on through
Doesn't matter what you do CERT
Ooooh CERT, you're through

No matter what you do
I will always be around
I will post what I have found, CERT
Ooooh CERT, screw you

Knock down the firewall
It won't help you at all
Know what you say, know what you see, know what you do
With just one toll-free call
I will hack the night through
know what you say, know what you see, know what you do

No matter where you store
there will always be a place
for your files to erase, CERT
Oooh CERT, you're through

(guitar/sax break)

Knock down the firewall
It won't help you at all
Know what you say, know what you see, know what you do
With just one toll-free call
I will hack the night through
know what you say, know what you see, know what you do

No matter where you are
I will always break on through
Doesn't matter what you do CERT
Ooooh CERT, you're through

Ooooh CERT, Oooh CERT, you're through
Ooooh CERT, Oooh CERT, screw you

Kludge: Live in Dallas, part 3

Tune 3, "Testify (Surrender)" -- Eventually this Cheap Trick gem would become one of our parody mainstays (with lyrics reworked as topics required) but it was hard to beat the original twist on the ongoing Microsoft vs. Justice Dept. lawsuit. Parody lyrics, BTW, were almost always a collaborative effort -- someone would come up with a germ of an idea, take an initial cut, then there would be a group edit via email and again at rehearsals. This process was led mainly by Mike Azzara, Mitch Irsfeld and myself, though everybody ever associated with Kludge (hey we were all smart people) usually contributed in some way. What I like about this recording is that you hear the audience laughing at the jokes...

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TESTIFY (SURRENDER)

Bill Gates told me, yes he told me
I'd write code for him
But Justice told me stay away,
you never know who we'll catch

Just the other day I heard
that a sweet deal had been cut
But now it looks
Like it might not go down

CHORUS
Billy's allright, Ballmer's allright
They just need some healthy fear
Testify, testify
but don't give your code away -- ayyaaayyy

Microsoft does run the country,
that's our big concern
But no one told Judge Stanley Sporkin
I guess that he's gonna learn

Now I have heard the Attorney General's
filing for appeal
Novell and Lotus don't want that
they've fought them all these years

(Chorus)

Whatever happened to all those software
startups from last year
Microsoft just buys their market
then they disappear

But I don't want my royalties
hanging on his wall!
So now I hope my testimony
gets Billy Boy knocked out!

(chorus repeat and out)

More from Dallas tomorrow... including LOTUS...